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Writer's pictureMichelle Del Valle

Between the (tan) lines... sweet summer escapism

As I type, I'm nearing the end of my summer reading with The Familiar by Leigh Bardugo. For most of my adult life, much like many others with a typical job, summers weren't anything special. But the last few years have been a beautiful experiment in learning to relax into the essence of this season.


I've spent a lot of time mulling over the concept of gratitude and the impact it has on every area of our lives. Beyond the everyday practice of journaling gratitude, there are deeper layers to be explored. Writing it out is important—there's something powerful about the physical act of writing that sparks neurons, building or solidifying new pleasure pathways in the brain. However, to me, that is the habit of gratitude.


When I talk about deeper layers, I'm referring to a sense of ease in your nervous system, in your mind and emotions, that can only really be experienced from a deep place of trust and security—enough to consciously and unconsciously relax into the blessings of the present moment. Be it a meal outdoors, the vibrant colors of summer fruit, time spent in the water, or a day lazing on the sand and escaping into the fantasy realm of the moment—these experiences hold such richness when we can learn to allow ourselves to fully savor them.


All of that is to say that, for the first time—at least as far as I can recall since childhood—I’ve felt so many glimmers and deeper experiences of that feeling this summer. And perhaps most illuminating of all is the connection between relaxing into my gratitude and the profound impact it has on my mindset, relationships, and my ability to change deeply rooted patterns and beliefs around deservingness and self-worth.


It's not lost on me that I'm reflecting on the concept of presence through gratitude while simultaneously getting completely lost in the lines of stories—stories about other people's lives, fantasy realms, and dreamscapes. I often feel that within this escape, my mind is free to wander beyond the self-imposed limitations that await me in the real world. Here, I can see how allowing myself the little pleasure of reading is gradually chipping away at the times I denied myself because "there was no time" or the belief that reading was a luxury reserved for someone more productive, someone who had "done enough" to warrant reading anything that didn’t directly contribute to work—like every self-help book until I became utterly overwhelmed about which concept or approach to try next. The funny thing is that when I’m in a season of reading purely for pleasure, my growth-oriented brain doesn’t always want to take a back seat. It starts searching for meaning and messages, finding synchronicities, and uncovering lessons in the myths and parallels to real life.


Like in Big Swiss, when I found myself laughing mercilessly at my own reflection in the overused yet undeniably helpful concepts and buzzwords of the wellness space. Or the therapist who practices Kundalini, encouraging his clients to chant "har" while incorporating a gong into his sessions: “It's gong, honey, not dong."


And then there’s The Midnight Library, which so beautifully articulates the game of regret we often play in our lives, along with the energy and time it consumes. The truth is, even when we feel we’ve wasted so much of both, there is still so much left to experience and do in this lifetime.


One huge theme that's resonated with my recent book choices is that of the badass warrior woman—flawed, imperfect, and willing to see her shortcomings reflected in the people around her and grow, through the shame and regret. With every step towards freedom, she becomes more herself.


 


I've landed on a few reflections, but not all of the deeper layers within and between the lines...


  • Accepting the path of self-discovery and trusting that this lifelong relationship with knowing yourself, is the most important, and will guide you towards meaning and fulfillment.


  • The Power of Choice and Reflection, every decision opens new possibilities and shapes the direction of our lives. Reflecting on the ways we choose to use our free will gives us clarity to continue navigating our path with deeper intention and awareness.


  • Accept and Learn from Regret, this frustrating feeling is a natural part of life, it is also a teacher. Rather than dwelling in regret, how can it propel you towards growth, self-compassion, and appreciating the present?


  • Trusting the Unknown is all about embracing the mysteries instead of fearing them. What discoveries might you uncover in the mysterious unknown?


  • The Interconnectedness of Our Choices and Lives. Everyone and everything is in some way deeply connected. Acknowledging this ripple effect reminds us to be mindful of how our actions influence others and the world around us, and vice versa.



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